I decided to join Running Start as a beginner. Amy Machael had posted on FB and I thought — why not?! I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life, I had recently lost a baby and still dealing with my failure there and I felt like I had nothing to lose. I suffered from panic attacks for years and every day I feared would be the day I would die of a heart attack and leave my husband with our three girls by himself. I had everything to gain but honestly even going into the first meeting — I didn’t feel like I had a “problem” or that I needed help. My high school sports days were long gone but I believe I said during the meeting that I was sporty at one time and that I run occasionally— not a full out lie. Was sporty at one time but long long ago by this time and my “running” consisted of nothing more than 15 seconds and I thought I might die. I was paired with the most positive motivator — Amy Dunbar and she was awesome. Of course I didn’t need much help but she consistently texted me to see how I was doing. Unfortunately, I tore the meniscus in my knee and needed surgery. This meant no actual running race for me and I tried to quit. I wanted someone else to have a shot at this run and accomplishing something but the Running Start team would not let me quit. They told me that the spot was mine and there was no one waiting to pounce on it and if I needed to walk the race I could. 3 weeks post operation was race day. I was going to walk it and I did. That wasn’t the turning point for me though. It was the post my motivator innocently put on FB saying how proud she was of me. Now, if you’re heavy — and I was very heavy. You know this so you take head shots if you have to but avoid pictures the best you can. I saw the picture. Surely that couldn’t be me! The picture must be widened… nope. That was me. It was the first time I actually saw how heavy I had let myself get over the years. I saw how much I did not value myself enough to make me/my health a priority. That was the day it stopped. A year later I had dropped nearly 100 pounds through diet and exercise (Running) and can’t imagine going back. I am a priority and if I am not healthy and the best me I can be — I cannot be there like I need to be for my family. I’ve kept the weight off and completely changed our lifestyle as a family. I decided to become a motivator to help other women realize they can make themselves a priority and be healthy and or just get a new hobby. A lot of the time women/mothers have guilt for taking time for themselves— that can’t happen or continue. I choose to be a motivator and a Program Manager to hopefully help women see the value in themselves enough to take time to enjoy something that makes them happy and helps their health (and sometimes their families too)! Running, walking, lifting, hiking, etc.
One of the things I love about Running Start is how much we all inspire each other. Just because you’re a Personal Motivator, doesn’t mean you don’t need someone to motivate or inspire you. Last summer I was getting ready to drive to Wyoming to do a 50k trail race. I’ve been running since I was a teenager, have done big races in the past, but was feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. I was in tears and couldn’t get myself together. This wasn’t my first rodeo, so why was I feeling this way? I was driving alone, but meeting friends at the race, then adding on a post-race vacation at my sister’s house in Montana. This was something I had been looking forward to for months!
I didn’t feel like I should be driving, so I turned my car around and went back home! I didn’t want my boyfriend to see my like this, so I ran in the house with my sunglasses on and said I had to go to the bathroom. Well he eventually sent me on my way. As I was driving a few miles from home, facing a 6-hour drive, tears streaming down my cheeks, I happened to look out my window. There it was, a big real estate sign that said “Beth Shields”! Beth was one of my beginners! She’s one of the bravest woman I know, she steps out of her comfort zone every day, and now she was my motivator!! Seeing her name was all I needed. Of course, I pulled my car over, sent her a text to tell her how much I love her, we shared a few laughs, and I was on my way. It’s amazing what a kind work and knowing someone believes in you can do for your self-confidence. Just seeing her name changed my day! Some days I think I might learn more from my beginner than she learns from me!